Depressed & Looking For Advice

Hey everyone. I’m making this kind of in a spur of the moment decision. Probably not the best idea, but I don’t have a lot of people to talk to, honestly.

I’m kind of depressed. I know some of it, maybe a lot of it, has to do with the fact that it’s winter and that tends to trash me. I’ve been tired and slow and irritable since winter really began to set in. But some of it just has to do with me wondering why?

Let me try to get my thoughts out, then ask for some advice.

I’ve slowed down a lot this year in terms of writing. I used to be able to bang out a novel a month. But now it’s taking me a few months to get anything written. Some of it is that I’m still getting used to writing whole novels, as opposed to episodes, and part of it is that 2018 has just been a mess for me, professionally and personally.

But I do research, looking into the ‘similar authors’ and ‘also bought’ sections, and I see a lot of stories similar to the type of stuff I write. Hand-drawn covers, fantastical type stories in a sci-fi or paranormal or fantasy setting, harem with lots of women, sometimes inhuman, lots of sex and action.

Only, all these other books have hundreds upon hundreds of reviews. These authors are regularly topping the charts. And not just Erotica, but other, more difficult to attain charts. People are obsessed with them, thousands upon thousands of people, they have hundreds, if not thousands of followers on Twitter or Facebook.

So I was hoping someone could help me. What am I doing wrong? What am I lacking? What am I missing in this equation?

I still haven’t stopped worrying about if I’m just a bad writer. I mean, obviously some people seem to like my work, but am I just not good enough to achieve that success? On the one hand, I actually did begin to achieve that insane level of success back in May, but then Amazon ripped it away from me. So was that a fluke? Was I just lucky and it would have died off no matter what? Can I do it again?

I guess the question I have that I don’t honestly think anyone can answer, because it’s all just opinion, is: do I suck at writing or not? I don’t know if I’ll ever actually answer the question for myself.

But again, advice? Thoughts? It would be appreciated.